How do I make you feel?

I start my psychology class today and I am terrified! I am waaaay out of my comfort zone. Everything about me, at least the me that I've known, is changing. Changing for the better. I know with the most recent presidential election the word change has become nauseating but please don't allow that word to have a negative overtone in your mind. Stay with me as I delve into the thought that woke me this morning. I was pondering the class I took on Monday and trying to regurgitate the information that had me so enveloped and I couldn't remember all the actual words. What I mostly remember is how the words made me feel. Something inside me recognized and agreed with the things I was hearing and set me ablaze. They felt familiar and comforting, something I haven't felt in a while. Even though I have lots of supportive people around me I am still so lonely. I am ever thankful for my family and all that they have done for me but they still can't fill the void that gnaws at me for my husband. I love him and miss him so very much. That being said, reality is, this is my lot. I have packaged, shouldered and intend to carry this bundle of emotion as I set off to do what I originally intended to do when this whole thing started three months ago. I want to allow God to sculpt me. I am already His child now I want to be His craftsmanship. Just like when I was born into the Williams family. I was a Williams family member but my personality hadn't developed into a Williams personality until I grew up in the presence of the Williams family. I know somebody out there is snickering about being a Williams but I am very proud of my family. I know from experience that we are not forgettable people (in a good way)! Anyway, my thought is, what does everyone back home remember about me? Just like I am trying to recall the actual lecture I had on Monday and cannot, I do remember how it made me feel. This is the concept that stirred me this morning. I have met scores of people in my life and even though I don't remember all the details about every one I can recall how they made or make me feel. How do, or did, I make them feel? What impression have I made on their mind? What stamp of emotion do I stir inside them that is going to surface when the name Christine Eyler is spoken or enters their mind? How do you feel about me right now? I genuinely want fruitfulness in my life and I want to promote fruitfulness in the lives of others. Have I treated you with respect and kindness or have I hurt you in some way? Fruitfulness in me promotes fruitfulness in others as hurtfulness in me promotes hurtfulness in others. These are the changes I was referring to at the beginning of this unending paragraph. I want you, who ever you are, to feel as I did in my class the other day. When you think of me, if you don't feel happy inside, please let me know. In my heart of hearts I want my memory to be one of comfort to you and I will do what ever it takes to change it.