Friendship

I couldn't sleep so I decided to get up and write instead of lay there with all of these thoughts tossing around in my head. I was, of course, thinking about all the changes that I have been experiencing over the past couple months. I have realized so much about myself...the good, the bad, and the ugly! I see so much more clearly than I have ever seen. It's funny how you r-e-a-l-l-y can't see the forest for the trees until you back away from it. I have let many relationships fall by the way side trying to save one. I don't regret trying to save my marriage. I regret the manner in which I tried to save it. I sacrificed time with others that love me and wanted to be a part of my life. I am sincerely regretting missed opportunities. I find myself grasping for friendship now. I don't want to be so desperate for friends that I loose focus of who I am and what I am about. I want the new relationships in my life to be complimentary of who I am striving to be. I don't want to exchange the things I know are real and fulfilling due to my neediness of friendship. I know I'm sounding kind of pathetic right now but I hope you are grasping the importance and depth of what I'm saying. Aren't we all looking for the same thing? Friendship is basically extended family right!? Everyone, I don't care who you are, is looking for companionship in one way or another. I think God put that in everyone expecting that we would handle that need with care and with the desire that it would lead us back to Him. He is the author of love and that's what he wants from us. Why do you think that desire is so innate to us? Because that's how we were created. I hope I have the strength to live by the standard that I know will bring me the most!